Too Busy

My schedule has been PACKED. 

Consider this Sunday, for example.  I’m teaching at church in the morning.  I’ll be leaving my younger son at church because he has a matinee performance of “Princess Ida”, which opens this Friday.  I’ll be heading down, picking up my older son, and going to “42^nd Street” rehearsal.  When that is done, I will be heading back to church, picking up my younger son, getting him home, then heading off to “Shakespeare in the Trailer Park” rehearsal.  And then there’s the Academy Awards, which I never miss. 

Last weekend was when I really started to feel like I was definitely overbooked.  That was because of the movie shoot.  I joked after that: “four shows at the same time is too much for me”. 

A good friend of mine is going to be playing Blanche in “Streetcar Named Desire”.  She remarked that the last show she was in was in October.  I thought about that: I have been in three shows since October, if you count the “Laramie Project” showcase.  Now, her role in “Streetcar” was substantially bigger than my parts in two of those productions, and I suspect bigger than my parts in “Laramie”.  I don’t think she would have agreed to play a part as small as my part in “Murder on the Nile”.  And, I suspect she wouldn’t have paid for an acting class, like I did for “Laramie”. 

The problem is that even a small part requires you be at rehearsals.  I’m on three times during “Shakespeare in the Trailer Park” (one of those three times is, I believe, the highlight of the show and will be the moment that everyone remembers).  These are spread out such that I don’t get to skip any rehearsals.  I’m at the beginning.  I show up for a minute or two in the middle.  And I’m at the ending.  It’s a small part, but I need to be at all of the rehearsals. 

So, right now, I have two plays and a showcase class.  Last weekend, I had a movie as well, but my part for that is done.  And I actually sit here and whine because I can’t do more.  I didn’t enjoy rejection, but I enjoyed going to auditions and meeting new groups.  Tomorrow is something called the “24 hour challenge”, where we put on a 10-minute show from writing to rehearsing to performing, all within 24 hours.  I can’t do it because “Shakespeare” rehearsals will get in the way.  Not to mention I need to get my younger son to and from “Princess Ida” performances.  Despite my tight and exhausting schedule, I feel bummed out that I can’t do this. 

Yes, I am overly busy.  But I’m overly busy doing something I love.  I find myself wanting more hours in the day and more days in the week, so I can do more. 

Prior to ’05, acting was something my kids did for fun.  We were searching for a social activity for my older son.  Soccer didn’t work, as he stood on one side of the field looking bored.  Band didn’t work, as he sat two seats away from anyone else.  I came up with the idea of acting: if the script called for him to interact with someone, he needed to interact with someone!  We got both kids involved, and they loved it.  After the separation, I decided “what the heck?” and I tried out for a play. 

My girlfriend at the time wasn’t interested at all in my theatre involvement.  Her boyfriend was going to be in a play, and she wasn’t even remotely interested.  She never came to see me perform.  I whined about this enough that the next two girlfriends knew they needed to take this a bit more seriously. 

My next girlfriend, X, watched us rehearse every night during tech week.  Heck, she even helped set up the props.  She was at every performance.  She was there to wrap her arms around me after every show.  At the time I thought she was proud of me.  Later, I realized that it was nothing more than “this is something I need to do to keep him”. 

After that was Leah.  Leah didn’t perform with me at first.  She didn’t like Gilbert & Sullivan.  Besides, she was in her own choir with her father and step-mother.  I saw her perform a few times, and she certainly came to see me perform.  The next year, we were doing another play that was not from Gilbert & Sullivan.  Leah was going to be in “The Gift of the Magi” with me.  She remarked that with her busy schedule, she wanted a small part.  When she saw the part she would be playing, she dropped out of the play.  She remarked that she didn’t want a part that was that small!  When he saw that she dropped out of the play, my older son also dropped out.  His girlfriend couldn’t be in the play so she didn’t want him in the play, and he did whatever she wanted.  I almost laughed at him when he said that he felt he should “concentrate on his schoolwork” instead of being in the play.  He dropped out of theatre completely that year. 

That left my younger son and me.  We missed a chunk of rehearsal time because of my heart surgery.  Three months after my heart surgery, I was on stage! 

The next year, after breaking with his girlfriend, my older son still showed no interest in acting.  When he saw the Christmas plays that year, however, he remembered how much he loved acting.  The next year, both sons were in a Gilbert & Sullivan production.  Leah and I drove them to-and-from, and we saw the play twice.  We spent a LOT of time, then, at a nearby mall! 

I never got a real feel for Leah’s choir involvement.  She didn’t seem to be at rehearsals all that often and I never remember her rehearsing.  When I would watch her perform, I would paint a smile on my face and say that she was great.  Maybe she was, but I could never pick out her voice from the choir.  She could have been moving her lips for all I knew.  Not to mention that her choir never sang anything I liked or even recognized.  Still, it was important to her and I was encouraging. 

Leah would later explain to me that part of being in a choir was making sure that your voice wasn’t noticeable: a choir works as a single unit.  As an actor, this was alien to me.  As an actor, I WANT to be noticed. 

With “Godspell”, we performed together.  This was the first time since I restarted acting that I was in a show without my kids (even my Neil Simon showcase: my older son was in that with me, as a last minute replacement).  I thought this brought us closer together, but instead it tore us apart.  She was constantly critical to me, to the point where I couldn’t practice with her.  And, of course, it was at the last performance when her parents threatened me.  The timer was ticking then, to our inevitable breakup.

I moved on to “Murder on the Nile” and “Laramie Project”.  My older son and I were in “Murder on the Nile” together.  That was ten weeks of time spent together.  During the six-week run, he and I spent 1 ½ hours out of every performance sitting in the green room together.  That does wonders to help us feel closer! 

During that time, my younger son was in “Hairspray” with Leah.  Leah initially didn’t want to audition for the play, but it didn’t take much arm twisting to convince her.  She wanted to try for the lead.  I encouraged her.  Honestly, though, this was her second play ever, so it was quite unlikely that she would jump from having two lines in “Godspell” to a lead role.  I pushed my younger son into auditioning, and it didn’t take long before he fell in love with this group: he told me once that he was quite thankful that I pushed him into auditioning with this group. 

After “Hairspray” and “Murder on the Nile” came to a close, both boys and I were in “Tiny Tim’s Christmas”.  It was great to work with both of them again!  Leah actually wound up not seeing this play, because she and I broke up before she had the chance. 

I suspect that all this time apart pushed along our inevitable break-up.  We were both spending very little time together, because of our rehearsal and performance schedules.  A couple should be able to spend time apart, but this occurred literally right after a huge crisis – her parents had threatened me.  Perhaps if we had time together then she might have approached things differently.  In the end, though, in that case it would have simply delayed the inevitable. 

It seems that this group was not as impressed with Leah as I had thought.  After she and I broke up, it became clear that they didn’t like her.  I thought Leah was a fantastic singer, but the leader of that group remarked that she was “okay” and “not that good”.  I can only assume she pissed off someone.  They are planning on performing either “Rent” or “Chicago” this summer, and Leah wanted to audition for that.  This group has a tradition of finding a place for everyone that auditions, but I wonder if they would break that if she auditioned. 

Before she left, I told Leah that I didn’t want her to ever come to one of my shows again.  I didn’t want her in the audience.  To be blunt, I don’t trust her.  I believe she knew that her step-father was going to threaten me.  Further, I find no way to interpret her behavior since then, but to say that she agreed with her parents.  I want to be able to perform in a play without worrying about someone trying to kill me!

So, that leaves Jen.  Jen and I know we are not an ideal couple.  We have some major incompatibilities that we know will eventually end our relationship.  But, we’re going to enjoy each other until that time.  She is a performer as well.  She performs with several bands.  She runs open-mic nights and jam sessions.  I can’t wait to see her perform!  And I want her to be in the audience when I perform.  The week after next, I plan on heading up to New York City to see her perform.  The next morning, we will head down in time for a benefit show.  I will be part of the group performing “Lullaby of Broadway”, and I get my 2-line solo!