So long to 2011!
All in all, this has been a good year for me. My job is moving along well (I took the lead with several big projects and my career actually seems to be going somewhere). My finances are doing pretty well: much to my surprise (my bills are all getting paid each month, and I'm not finding myself scrimping).
If my ex-girlfriend has tried any crap with me, it really hasn't gone anywhere. On occasion, some friend or another mentions something she posted on some site or another, and on occasion I can tell that it's something pointed to me. The last time anyone mentioned any of that to me was after Yom Kippur. She is, according to Jewish law, required to make amends to anyone she wronged, and she most certainly wronged me. She whined on some site, how can she make amends when I've threatened her with a PFA if she contacts me again? I hope that rationalization made her feel better. I laughed at that one, because she openly violated my threat by going to see "42nd Street", when she knew I was in that play. It's the classic musical theatre vs. God's law dilemma.
She did try some crap earlier in the year. She kept bugging me for things-she-had-left-when-she-moved-out. She wasn't very subtle with this. Normally, e-mails came from a personal account, but suddenly one day the e-mail came from an account from a bank. I guess she wanted me to know that she had gotten a job. She was also hinting in these e-mails that she had gotten involved with someone. In the end, I told her: enough already! She had been gone for several months, I had thrown out a great deal of old stuff . . . whatever she has forgotten is no longer any of my concern. She tried to engage me in a fight at one point, talking about how much I loathe her parents (gee, what a shock) and talking about how I've been badmouthing her (like I've said: if she gets a death threat from things I've said about her, she can talk). I refused to play her game, and I cut that "conversation" short. I had promised to clear off some old bills that had been under her name, but I told her these would take time as I needed to get my own finances in order. She got impatient with that and hinted that she might take legal action. I went ahead and paid, as I had promised, and that was when I told her that we have no further business with each other. That was when I told her: any business between us is finished, so if she contacts me again I might have to take legal action (since, given her mental health issues, I must judge her to be a danger to my family and to me).
By the way, I discovered that a community theatre group really hated her. This was the group for whom I did "42nd Street". She and I did "Godspell" with them, and she did "Hairspray" with them. Early in the year, they mentioned her quite negatively. What the heck? They were doing "Rent" in the summer, and remarked that she had spoken about wanting to audition for that . . . to put it mildly, they didn't see a place for her in that play! They warned me that she had shown up for "42nd Street". After that, we had a chance to chat about what had happened. It wasn't simply how she and her family treated me (remember that her family threatened me during one of their shows, so naturally they took some offense to that). It turned out that she had become a bit of a diva during "Hairspray". Even though she had maybe two lines in "Godspell" and no lines at all in "Hairspray", she had quite an attitude! Apparently, she even told one of the actresses that she could have sung the actress' part better than her! Ugh!
Well, she was gone.
And then came Jen! Jen has an unfair advantage. My previous two girlfriends had an agenda with me, they wanted to move in with me. To that end, they became interested in my activities and "my world". Jen isn't moving in with me and becoming part of "my world". Jen has New York City. Spending time with Jen means going to Broadway shows, meeting people from the Trans Siberian Orchestra or the Flying Karamazov Brothers, or watching her perform with one of her bands at the Bitter End. It isn't just for me. Because of Jen, my kids saw their first Broadway show. My younger son, because of Jen, saw his second, third and fourth Broadway show. Because of Jen, my older son started playing guitar again, and jammed for 3 1/2 hours with her at a studio. Heck, one day I received an e-mail from "NintendoWorld" in Manhattan. In the past, I would have tossed the e-mail. No: because of Jen, we were able to go there!
But what about her? She's intelligent and mature. I don't feel like I'm taking care of her. She has her quirks, but she's actually interesting. She's actually exciting. She is extremely talented, and she is actually respected. The problem is me: for anyone else, saying "I fell in love with her" might elicit huge smiles and joy. But this is me: OF COURSE I fell in love with her. I guess it's also no surprise that I want to spend my life with her. The thing is that I am actually very happy with her, right here and right now.
I've whined a bit about theatre this year. Last year, theatre was so exciting. This year, I realized that I was hitting a wall. Theatre is a white man's game, and I'm not white. I've grown bored and frustrated at never ever being given a part that is challenging. I am sick and tired of nailing an audition, and finding that I'm on top of the first page of a rejection list. I'm sick and tired of, on those few times I even get a part, finding that it's a bit part, a case of "where can we fit in the brown guy". On the other hand, I'm starting to make a name for myself as a writer. Two directors with whom I have worked are preparing to put on plays I have either written or co-written, in 2012. This is, I believe, what my theatre legacy will be: I will not be remembered as an actor, but my plays do seem to be raising eyebrows.
So, in the end, this has been a good year for me. It's been a better year than I've had in quite a while! 2011 has been the Year of Jen. This is the year when, for a nice change of pace, someone else swept me away!
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