Maybe a year ago, I went to an audition. At the audition, I ran in to a dear friend. I've known her for several years through a Gilbert & Sullivan group and I even had a chance to perform with her once for a Christmas play. I know she's really good, and she appears to think highly of my work.
Neither of us got parts. Later, I ran in to her and she was wondering who they had gotten for that show: the people that auditioned with us were, in her words, terrible. As it is, I knew two people that weren't at the auditions but were going to be in the show, and I knew they were both very good. After the auditions and after sending out the "we don't want you" e-mails, they went recruiting to fill out the cast.
I had auditioned for this group (the group holding the audition) once before and now they went to my "I'm not going to bother with them" list. Sure, I will audition with them . . . if they asked me, and if the audition was extremely convenient. They're not worth wasting my time. Meanwhile, what about my friend?
She got a great lead part in another play (with another group that, by the way, is on my "I'm not going to bother with them" list). Her career has exploded since then, rightfully so. Her performance was so good that it actually brought tears to my eyes. The group that turned us both down now has her in their next show: I wonder if they are thinking "maybe we should have given her a chance?" The other day, she was asked to audition for a professional theatre company. One big break was all she needed!
I'm really happy for her, she deserves this. I'm jealous, too. I love to act, I love the stage, but the most I get are bit parts and I'm not going to get anywhere doing bit parts. To be perfectly blunt, I don't really even know if I'm good. Maybe I might get known for my writing, but I'll never be known for my acting, and that's just reality.
In any case, I'm looking at my future. The theatre company that did "42nd Street" is going to do something called "Nutcracker Fusion", a dance show. I decided that I will not audition for it. This theatre company specializes in musicals and specializes in their young cast, so I'll never have more than a bit part in one of their shows. Today, there are auditions for a Christmas show at the theatre company that did "Shakespeare in the Trailer Park" and that hopes to do my play, "Leia". I've had my fill of Christmas shows: I'll probably change my mind before tonight, but right this moment I think it would be for the best if I didn't audition for that. I've put my name in for a general audition in October. They will see where (and if) I am a fit, and if it is a part that doesn't challenge me, I will turn it down.
Meanwhile, on Monday, my acting classes start. They're a bit expensive, but I think I will go for it. I have a strange feeling, though. When I feel almost as though it's best to bite the bullet and walk away from acting altogether, why am I taking the class? It's no longer "take an acting class, build my skills, and get a great part." It's "take an acting class because this is the only place where I can perform a part with any substance."
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