This fall, I signed up for two acting classes at Hedgerow. One was taught by Tom, and I had taken his classes twice before. The other was taught by Lou, who is an old established actor and playwright. Lou tends to be a bit harsh, and I know that there were times he stopped me in my tracks. That's a good thing, however: he was able to pinpoint a skill I seriously need to work on. Lou's class is over and Tom's class ends next week.
I've been feeling a bit "eh" about the classes this time around. Nothing against the class or the teachers, it's "me". I came into the classes without any "I want to work on this" items. I see other people in the class talking about shows and audition prep, and I have none of that. I feel like I'm just along for the ride.
There's no secret to this all. Back early this year, I was seriously distressed. I realized how small and insignificant were my parts for "Shakespeare in the Trailer Park" and "42nd Street". After a few more rejections, I decided to take a break. I was still committed to do "Henry V" in the August, but beyond that I didn't bother. I did audition for a few places, and it was just rejection after rejection. I did get one part, which was a silly bit-part in a silly Christmas play. I found myself wondering if I had any future in acting at all.
During "Shakespeare" and "42nd Street", I was taking another class at Hedgerow. I decided that it was in acting class where I would get a challenging monologue or scene. Who cares if community theatre never ever came through for me, when I could just take a class at Hedgerow? I went in to the classes this fall with nothing: no dreams of taking my skills to stage, no dreams that I will ever have a place in theatre. This time around, I'm seeing that the class isn't enough. I need a part that I can work on from start to finish (not just a scene picked out somewhere). I need a part that I can think about, a character I can build. And I need to work with a director. Without any of this, my skills aren't improving. I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall with my classes: to get more out of the acting classes, I need to act. And the sorts of parts I have had this year have done nothing to help my acting skills. And I'm not getting any better opportunities.
I love theatre, but theatre doesn't love me. Given my love life (Leah and Joni), this is a pretty common occurance in my life.
